Push

It's 4am and I've been painting all night after coming home from work at midnight. Before work, I painted all day starting at 11am. My walls are filled with art that I've completed in the past several months, all ready to be seen, many of which I've still yet to post on this blog. It's like my wall, my sketchbooks are staging areas before the curtain goes up. And yet, it seems as if I've been rehearsing for this play that has had an opening date for so long now and the anticipation of it is so intense in my heart that sometimes, it makes me want to give up. But it's a drug, a beautiful drug and I know, just like the first time sky diver, I am both ready and frightened to make that jump. I just need that one push to make it all a reality. And I know that I am the only one who is holding me back and also the only one who will push me forward.